Taylor Swift - The Tortured Poets Department: The Anthology Album Lyrics

I am someone who until recent events
You shared your secrets with
And your location, you forgot to turn it off
And so I watch as you walk
Into some bar called The Black Dog
And pierce new holes in my heart
You forgot to turn it off
And it hits me

I just don't understand how you don't miss me
In The Black Dog, when someone plays "The Starting Line"
And you jump up, but she's too young to know this song
That was intertwined in the magic fabric of our dreaming
Old habits die screaming

I move through the world with a heart broken
My longing state unspoken
And I may never open up thе way I did for you
And all of those best laid plans
You said I needed a bravе man
Then proceeded to play him
Until I believed it too
And it kills me

I just don't understand how you don't miss me
In the shower and remember how my rain-soaked body
Was shakin', do you hate me?
Was it hazing for a cruel fraternity?
I pledged and I still mean it
Old habits die screaming

Six weeks of breathin' clean air
I still miss the smoke
Were you makin' fun of me
With some esoteric joke?
Now I wanna sell my house
And set fire to all my clothes
And hire a priest to come and exorcise my demons
Even if I die screaming
And I hope you hear it

And then I hope it's shitty in The Black Dog
When someone plays "The Starting Line"
And you jump up, but she's too young to know this song
That was intertwined in the tragic fabric of our dreaming
With tail between your legs, you're leavin'

I still can't believe it
'Cause old habits die screaming

Yeah

Lilac short skirt, the one that fits me like skin
Did your research, you knew the price goin' in
And I'll tell you one thing, honey
I can tell when somebody still wants me, come clean
Standin' at the bar like something's funny, bubbly
Once you fix your face, I'm goin' in (Yeah)

Whether I'm gonna be your wife or
Gonna smash up your bike, I haven't decided yet
But I'm gonna get you back
Whether I'm gonna curse you out or
Take you back to my house, I haven't decidеd yet
But I'm gonna get you back

I, I hear thе whispers in your e-e-eyes
I'll make you wanna think twice
You'll find that you were never not mine
(You're mine)

Small talk, big love, act like I don't care what you did
I'm an Aston Martin that you steered straight into the ditch
Then ran and hid
And I'll tell you one thing, honey
I can take the upper hand and touch your body
Flip the script and leave you like a dumb house party
Or I might just love you 'til the end (Ah)

Whether I'm gonna be your wife or
Gonna smash up your bike, I haven't decided yet
But I'm gonna get you back
Whether I'm gonna flip you off or
Pull you into the closet, I haven't decided yet
But I'm gonna get you back

I, I hear the whispers in your e-e-eyes
I'll make you wanna think twice
You'll find that you were never not mine
(You're mine)

I can feel it comin', honey, in the way you move
Push the reset button, we're becomin' something new
Say you got somebody else, say, "I got someone too"
Even if it's handcuffed, I'm leavin' here with you
Bygones will be bygone, eras fadin' into grey (Fading into grey)
Rebuild all the pieces, but still wanna play the game (Oh)
Told my friends I hate you, but I love you just the same
Pick your poison, babe, I'm poison either way (Ha)

Whether I'm gonna be your wife or
Gonna smash up your bike, I haven't decided yet
But I'm gonna get you back
Whether I'm gonna curse you out or
Take you back to my house, I haven't decided yet
But I'm gonna get you back

I, I hear the whispers in your e-e-eyes
I'll make you wanna think twice
You'll find that you were never not mine

I'm gonna get you back

Wise men once said
"Wild winds are death to the candle"
A rose by any other name is a scandal
Cautions issued, he stood
Shooting the messengers
They tried to warn him about her

Cross your thoughtless heart
Only liquor anoints you
She's the albatross
She is here to destroy you


Wise men once said
"One bad seed kills the garden"
"One less temptress, one less dagger to sharpen"
Locked me up in towers
But I'd visit in your dreams
And they tried to warn you about me

Cross your thoughtless heart
Only liquor anoints you
She's the albatross
She is here to destroy you
Devils that you know
Raise worse hell than a stranger
She's the death you chose
You're in terrible danger

And when that sky rains fire on you
And you're persona non grata
I'll tell you how I've been there too
And that none of it matters

Wise men once read fake news
And they believed it
Jackals raised their hackles
You couldn't conceive it
You were sleeping soundly
When they dragged you from your bed
And I tried to warn you about them

So I crossed my thoughtless heart
Spread my wings like a parachute
I'm the albatross
I swept in at the rescue
The devil that you know
Looks now more like an angel
I'm the life you chose
And all this terrible danger (Ah)

(This terrible danger; Ah)
So cross your thoughtless heart (Ah)
She's the albatross (Ah)
She is here to destroy you

Your hologram stumbled into my apartment
Hands in the hair of somebody in darkness
Named Chloe or Sam or Sophia or Marcus
And I just watched it happen
As the decade would play us for fools
And you saw my bones out with somebody new
Who seemed like he would've bullied you in school
And you just watched it happen

If you wanna break my cold, cold heart
Just say, "I loved you the way that you were"
If you wanna tear my world apart
Just say you've always wondered

You said some things that I can't unabsorb
You turned me into an idea of sorts
You needed me, but you needed drugs more
And I couldn't watch it happen
I changed into goddesses, villains and fools
Changed plans and lovers and outfits and rules
All to outrun my desertion of you
And you just watched it

If you wanna break my cold, cold heart
Just say, "I loved you the way that you were"
If you wanna tear my world apart
Just say you've always wondered

If the glint in my eye traced the depths of your sigh
Down that passage in time back to the moment
I crashed into you, like so many wrecks do
Too impaired by my youth to know what to do

So if I sell my apartment
And you have some kids with an internet starlet
Will that make your memory fade from this scarlet maroon?
Like it never happened
Could it be enough to just float in your orbit?
Can we watch our phantoms like watching wild horses?
Cooler in theory, but not if you force it to be
It just didn't happen

So if you wanna break my cold, cold heart
Say you loved me
And if you wanna tear my world apart
Say you'll always wonder

(Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah)
'Cause I wonder
Will I always
(Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah)
Will I always wonder?

(Uh-oh, uh-oh)

We hereby conduct
This post-mortem
He was a hot house flower to my outdoorsmen
Our maladies were such
We could not cure them
And so a touch that was my birthright became foreign

Come one, come all
It's happenin' again
The empathetic hunger descends
We'll tell no one
Except all of our friends
We must know
How did it end?
(Uh-oh, uh-oh)

We were blind to unforeseen circumstances
We learn the right stеps to different dances (Oh, oh-oh)
And fеll victim to interloper's glances
Lost the game of chance, what are the chances?
Soon, they'll go home to their husbands
Smug 'cause they know they can trust him
Then feverishly calling their cousins (Oh, oh)

Guess who we ran into at the shops?
Walking in circles like she was lost
Didn't you hear?
They called it all off
One gasp and then
How did it end?

Say it once again with feeling
How the death rattle breathing
Silenced as the soul was leaving
The deflation of our dreaming
Leaving me bereft and reeling
My beloved ghost and me
Sitting in a tree
D-Y-I-N-G

It's happenin' again
How did it end?
I can't pretend like I understand
How did it end?

Come one come all
It's happenin' again
The empathatic hunger descends
We'll tell no one
Except all of our friends
But I still don't know
How did it end?

I feel so high school every time I look at you
I wanna find you in a crowd just to hide from you

And in a blink of a crinklin' eye
I'm sinkin', our fingers entwined
Cheeks pink in the twinkling lights
Tell me 'bout the first time you saw me
I'll drink what you think and I'm high
From smokin' your jokes all damn night
The brink of a wrinkle in time
Bittersweet sixteen suddenly

I'm watchin' American Pie with you on a Saturday night
Your friends are around, so be quiet
I'm trying to stifle my sighs
'Cause I feel so high school every time I look at you
But look at you
Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah

Are you gonna marry, kiss or kill me? (Kill me)
It's just a game, but really (Really)
I'm bettin' on all three for us two (All three)
Get my car door, isn't that sweet? (That sweet)
Then pull me to thе backseat (The backseat)
No onе's ever had me (Had me), not like you

Truth, dare, spin bottles
You know how to ball, I know Aristotle
Brand new, full throttle
Touch me while your bros play Grand Theft Auto
It's true, swear, scouts honor
You knew what you wanted and, boy, you got her
Brand new, full throttle
You already know, babe

I feel like laughing in the middle of practice
To that impression you did of your dad again
I'm hearing voices like a madman

And in a blink of a crinkling eye
I'm sinking, our fingers entwined
Cheeks pink in the twinkling lights
Tell me 'bout the first time you saw me
I'll drink what you think and I'm high
From smoking your jokes all damn night
The brink of a wrinkle in time
Bittersweet sixteen suddenly

I'm watching American Pie with you on a Saturday night
Your friends are around, so be quiet
I'm trying to stifle my sighs
'Cause I feel so high school (Feel so high school) every time I look at you
But look at you

Truth, dare, spin bottles
You know how to ball, I know Aristotle
Brand new, full throttle
Touch me while your bros play Grand Theft Auto
It's true, swear, scouts honor
You knew what you wanted and, boy, you got her
Brand new, full throttle
You already know, babe
You already know, babe

Quick, quick, tell me something awful
Like you are a poet trapped inside the body of a finance guy
Tell me all your secrets, all you'll ever be is
My eternal consolation prize
You see, I was a debutante in another life, but
Now I seem to be scared to go outside
If comfort is a construct, I don't believe in good luck
Now that I know what's what

I hate it here so I will go to secret gardens in my mind
People need a key to get to, the only one is mine
I read about it in a book when I was a precocious child
No mid-sized city hopes and small-town fears
I'm there most of the year 'cause I hate it here
I hate it here

My friends used to play a game where
We would pick a decade
We wished we could live in instead of this
I'd say the 1830s but without all the racists
And getting married off for the highest bid
Everyone would look down 'cause it wasn't fun now
Seems like it was never even fun back then
Nostalgia is a mind's trick
If I'd been there, I'd hate it
It was freezing in the palace

I hate it here so I will go to lunar valleys in my mind
When they found a better planet, only the gentle survived
I dreamed about it in the dark, the night I felt like I might die
No mid-sized city hopes and small-town fears
I'm there most of the year 'cause I hate it here
I hate it here

I'm lonely, but I'm good
I'm bitter, but I swear I'm fine
I'll save all my romanticism for my inner life and I'll get lost on purpose
This place made me feel worthless
Lucid dreams like electricity, the current flies through me
And in my fantasies, I rise above it
And way up there, I actually love it

I hate it here so I will go to secret gardens in my mind
People need a key to get to, the only one is mine
I read about it in a book when I was a precocious child
No mid-sized city hopes and small-town fears
I'm there most of the year 'cause I hate it here
I hate it here

Quick, quick, tell me something awful
Like you are a poet trapped inside the body of a finance guy

When I picture my hometown
There's a bronze, spray-tanned statue of you
And a plaque underneath it
That threatens to push me down the stairs at our school

And it was always the same searing pain
But I dreamed that, one day, I could say

All that time you were throwin' punches, I was buildin' somethin'
And I can't forgive the way you made me feel
Screamed, "F*ck you, Aimee" to the night sky as the blood was gushin'
But I can't forget the way you made me heal

And it wasn't a fair fight or a clean kill
Each time that Aimee stomped across my gravе
And then she wrote hеadlines
In the local paper, laughing at each baby step I'd take

And it was always the same searing pain
But I prayed that, one day, I could say

All that time you were throwin' punches, I was buildin' somethin'
And I couldn't wait to show you it was real
Screamed, "F*ck you, Aimee" to the night sky as the blood was gushin'
But I can't forget the way you made me heal
Everyone knows that my mother is a saintly woman
But she used to say she wished that you were dead
I pushed each boulder up the hill
Your words are still just ringing in my head, ringing in my head

I wrote a thousand songs that you find uncool
I built a legacy that you can't undo
But when I count the scars, there's a moment of truth
That there wouldn't be this if there hadn't been you

And maybe you've reframed it
And in your mind, you never beat my spirit black and blue
I don't think you've changed much
And so I changed your name and any real defining clues
And one day, your kid comes home singin'
A song that only us two is gonna know is about you, 'cause

All that time you were throwin' punches, it was all for nothin'
And our town, it looks so small from way up here
Screamed, "Thank you, Aimee" to the night sky and the stars are stunnin'
'Cause I can't forget the way you made me heal
Everyone knows that my mother is a saintly woman
But she used to say she wished that you were dead
So I pushed each boulder up that hill
Your words were still just ringin' in my head, ringin' in my head

Thank you, Aimee
Thank you, Aimee

I had died the tiniest death
I spied the catch in your breath
Out, out, out, out, out, out
Northbound I got carried away
As you boarded your train
South, south, south, south, south, south

A feather taken by the wind blowing
I'm afflicted by the not knowing so

I look in people's windows
Transfixed by rose golden glows
They have their friends over to drink nice wine
I look in people's windows
In case you're at their table
What if your eyes looked up and met mine
One more time

You had stopped and tiltеd your head
I still ponder what it meant
Now, now, now, now, now, now
I triеd searching faces on streets
What are the chances you'd be
Downtown, downtown, downtown

Does it feel alright to not know me?
I'm addicted to the "if only"

So I look in people's windows
Like I'm some deranged weirdo
I attend Christmas parties from outside
I look in people's windows
In case you're at their table
What if your eyes looked up and met mine
One more time

Hand on the throttle
Thought I caught lightning in a bottle
Oh, but it's gone again
And it was written
I got cursed like Eve got bitten
Oh, was it punishment?
Pad around when I get home
I guess a lesser woman would've lost hope
A greater woman wouldn't beg
But I looked to the sky and said

Please
I've been on my knees
Change the prophecy
Don't want money
Just someone who wants my company
Let it once be me
Who do I have to speak to
About if they can redo the prophecy?

Cards on thе table
Mine play out like fools in a fablе
Oh, it was sinking in (Sinking in, oh)
Slow is the quicksand
Poison blood from the wound of the pricked hand
Oh, still I dream of him

Please
I've been on my knees
Change the prophecy
Don't want money
Just someone who wants my company
Let it once be me
Who do I have to speak to
About if they can redo the prophecy?

And I sound like an infant
Feeling like the very last drops of an ink pen
A greater woman stays cool
But I howl like a wolf at the moon
And I look unstable
Gathered with a coven 'round a sorceress' table
A greater woman has faith
But even statues crumble if they're made to wait
I'm so afraid I sealed my fate
No sign of soulmates
I'm just a paperweight in shades of greige
Spending my last coin so someone will tell me it'll be okay

Ooh
Ooh
Ooh
Ooh

Please
I've been on my knees
Change the prophecy
Don't want money
Just someone who wants my company
Let it once be me
Who do I have to speak to
About if they can redo the prophecy?
Who do I have to speak to
To change the prophecy?

Hand on the throttle
Thought I caught lightning in a bottle
Oh, but it's gone again
Pad around when I get home
I guess a lesser woman would've lost hope
A greater woman wouldn't beg
But I looked to the sky and said (Please)

I was in my new house placing daydreams
Patching up the crack along the wall
I pass it and lose track of what I'm saying
'Cause that's where I was when I got the call

When the first stone's thrown, there's screamin'
In the streets, there's a raging riot
When it's "Burn the bitch," they're shrieking
When the truth comes out, it's quiet

So, they killed Cassandra first 'cause she feared the worst
And tried to tell the town
So they filled my cell with snakes, I regret to say
Do you believe me now?

I was in my tower weaving nightmares
Twisting all my smiles into snarls
They say, "What doesn't kill you makes you aware"
What happens if it becomes who you are?

So, they killed Cassandra first 'cause she feared the worst
And tried to tell the town
So they set my life in flames, I regret to say
Do you believe me now?


They knew, they knew, they knew the whole time
That I was onto somethin'
The family, the pure greed, the Christian chorus line
They all said nothin'
Blood's thick, but nothin' like a payroll
Bet they never spared a prayer for my soul
You can mark my words that I said it first
In a mourning warning, no one heard

I patched up the crack along the wall
I pass it and lose track of what I'm saying
'Cause that's where I was when I lost it all

So, they killed Cassandra first 'cause she feared the worst
And tried to tell the town
So, they filled my cell with snakes, I regret to say
Do you believe me now?


Ah, ah-ah-ah, ah
I was onto somethin'
Ah-ah-ah, ah
They all said nothin'
Blood's thick but nothin' like a payroll
Bet they never spared a prayer for my soul
You can mark my words that I said it first
In a mourning warning, no one heard
No one heard, not a single word was heard

When the first stone's thrown, there's screamin'
In the streets, there's a raging riot
When it's "Burn the bitch," they're shrieking
When the truth comes out, it's quiet
It's so quiet

Forgive me, Peter
My lost fearless leader
In closets like cedar
Preserved from when we were just kids
Is it somethin' I did?
The goddess of timing
Once found us beguiling
She said she was trying
Peter, was she lying?
My ribs get the feeling she did

And I didn't wanna come down
I thought it was just goodbye for now

You said you were gonna grow up
Then you were gonna come find me
Said you were gonna grow up
Thеn you were gonna come find mе
Said you were gonna grow up
Then you were gonna come find me
Words from the mouths of babes
Promises oceans deep
But never to keep
Oh, never to keep

Are you still a mind reader?
A natural scene stealer?
I've heard great things, Peter
But life was always easier on you
Than it was on me
And sometimes it gets me
When crossing your jet stream
We both did the best we could do
Underneath the same moon
In different galaxies

And I didn't wanna hang around
We said it was just goodbye for now

You said you were gonna grow up
Then you were gonna come find me
Said you were gonna grow up
Then you were gonna come find me
Said you were gonna grow up
Then you were gonna come find me
Words from the mouths of babes
Promises oceans deep
But never to keep
Never to keep

And I won't confess that I waited, but I let the lamp burn
As the men masqueraded, I hoped you'd return
With your feet on the ground, tell me all that you'd learned
'Cause love's never lost when perspective is earned
And you said you'd come and get me, but you were twenty-five
And the shelf life of those fantasies has expired
Lost to the "Lost Boys" chapter of your life
Forgive me, Peter, please know that I tried
To hold on (Hold on) to the days (To the days)
When you were mine
But the woman who sits by the window
Has turned out the light

You said you were gonna grow up
Then you were gonna come find me
Said you were gonna grow up
You said you were gonna grow up
Then you were gonna come find me
Said you were gonna grow up
You said you were gonna grow up
Then you were gonna come find me
Said you were gonna grow up
Then you were gonna come find me
Said you were gonna grow up
Then you were gonna come find me
Words from the mouths of babes
Promises oceans deep
But never to keep

By all accounts, she almost drowned
When she was six in frigid water
And I can confirm she made
A curious child, ever reviled
By everyone except her own father
With a quite bewitching face
Splendidly selfish, charmingly helpless
Excellent fun 'til you get to know her
Then she runs like it's a race
Behind her back, her best mates laughed
And they nicknamed her "The Bolter"

Started with a kiss
"Oh, we must stop meeting like this"
But it always ends up with a town car speeding
Out the drive one evening
Ended with the slam of a door
Then he'll call her a whore
Wish he wouldn't be sore
But as she was leaving
It felt like breathing

All her f*ckin' lives
Flashed before her eyes
It feels like the time
She fell through the ice
Then came out alive

He was a cad, wanted her bad
Just like any good trophy hunter
And she liked the way he tastes
Taming a bear, making him care
Watching him jump then pulling him under
And at first blush, this is fate
When it's all roses, portrait poses
Central Park Lake in tiny rowboats
What a charming Saturday
That's when she sees the littlest leaks
Down in the floorboards
And she just knows she must bolt

Started with a kiss
"Oh, we must stop meeting like this"
But it always ends up with a town car speeding
Out the drive one evening
Ended with the slam of a door
Then he'll call her a whore
Wish he wouldn't be sore
But as she was leaving
It felt like breathing

All her f*ckin' lives
Flashed before her eyes (Ah-ah-ah)
It feels like the time
She fell through the ice
Then came out alive

She's been many places
With Men of many faces
First, they're off to the races
And she's laughing, drawin' aces
But none of it is changin'
That the chariot is waitin'
Hearts are hers for the breakin'
There's escape in escaping
]
Started with a kiss
"Oh, we must stop meeting like this"
But it always ends up with a town car speeding
Out the drive one evenin'
Ended with the slam of a door
But she's got the best stories
You can be sure
That as she was leaving
It felt like freedom

All her f*ckin' lives
Flashed before her eyes (And she realized)
It feels like the time
She fell through the ice
Then came out alive

By all accounts, she almost drowned
When she was six in frigid water
And I can confirm she made
A curious child, ever reviled
By everyone except her own father
With a quite bewitching face
Splendidly selfish, charmingly helpless
Excellent fun 'til you get to know her
Then she runs like it's a race
Behind her back, her best mates laughed
And they nicknamed her "The Bolter"

Started with a kiss
"Oh, we must stop meeting like this"
But it always ends up with a town car speeding
Out the drive one evening
Ended with the slam of a door
Then he'll call her a whore
Wish he wouldn't be sore
But as she was leaving
It felt like breathing

All her f*ckin' lives
Flashed before her eyes
It feels like the time
She fell through the ice
Then came out alive

He was a cad, wanted her bad
Just like any good trophy hunter
And she liked the way he tastes
Taming a bear, making him care
Watching him jump then pulling him under
And at first blush, this is fate
When it's all roses, portrait poses
Central Park Lake in tiny rowboats
What a charming Saturday
That's when she sees the littlest leaks
Down in the floorboards
And she just knows she must bolt

Started with a kiss
"Oh, we must stop meeting like this"
But it always ends up with a town car speeding
Out the drive one evening
Ended with the slam of a door
Then he'll call her a whore
Wish he wouldn't be sore
But as she was leaving
It felt like breathing

All her f*ckin' lives
Flashed before her eyes (Ah-ah-ah)
It feels like the time
She fell through the ice
Then came out alive

She's been many places
With Men of many faces
First, they're off to the races
And she's laughing, drawin' aces
But none of it is changin'
That the chariot is waitin'
Hearts are hers for the breakin'
There's escape in escaping

Started with a kiss
"Oh, we must stop meeting like this"
But it always ends up with a town car speeding
Out the drive one evenin'
Ended with the slam of a door
But she's got the best stories
You can be sure
That as she was leaving
It felt like freedom

All her f*ckin' lives
Flashed before her eyes (And she realized)
It feels like the time
She fell through the ice
Then came out alive

Now and then she rereads the manuscript
Of the entire torrid affair
They compared their licenses
He said, "I'm not a donor but
I'd give you my heart if you needed it"
She rolled her eyes and said
"You're a professional"
He said, "No, just a good samaritan"
He said that if the sex was half as good as the conversation was
Soon they'd be pushin' strollers
But soon it was over

In the age of him, she wished she was thirty
And made coffee every morning in a Frеnch press
Afterwards she only atе kids' cereal
And couldn't sleep unless it was in her mother's bed
Then she dated boys who were her own age
With dart boards on the backs of their doors
She thought about how he said since she was so wise beyond her years
Everything had been above board
She wasn't sure

And the years passed
Like scenes of a show
The Professor said to write what you know
Lookin' backwards
Might be the only way to move forward
Then the actors
Were hitting their marks
And the slow dance
Was alight with the sparks
And the tears fell
In synchronicity with the score
And at last
She knew what the agony had been for

The only thing that's left is the manuscript
One last souvenir from my trip to your shores
Now and then I reread the manuscript
But the story isn't mine anymore