There's a rubber band that plays tunes out of tune
In the library garden Sunday afternoon
While a little chappie waves a golden wand
Rubber band
In 1910 I was so handsome and so strong
My moustache was stiffly waxed and one foot long
And I loved a girl while you played teatime tunes
Dear Rubber band, you're playing my tunes out of tune, oh
Rubber band, Won't you play a haunting theme again to me
While I eat my scones and drink my cup
of tea
The sun is warm but it's a lonely afternoon
Oh, play that theme
Rubber band
How I wish that I could join your Rubber band
We could play in lively parks throughout the land
And one Sunday afternoon I'd find my love
Rubber band
In '14-'18 war I went to sea
Thought my Sunday love was waiting home for me
And now she's married to the leader of the band, oh
[spoken]
Oh sob: I hope you break your baton